A somewhat sad reality of many elders is their lousy moods. There’s a lot you can do to ease their golden years (sending them to Wellington Estates, for example), but you can’t control their life.
Many seniors tend to get grumpy. Obviously, this can be tough to deal with, and it can cause you to feel like you’re letting them down.
But, as you hopefully understand, your loved one’s mood swings aren’t your fault, and it isn’t your responsibility to make them cheerful when they feel like being grumpy.
Why Seniors get Grumpy
The first thing is to understand why seniors get grumpy.
Although some sources point to the decline in hormonal levels in males as they reach age 601 or 702 as the primary culprit, grumpiness doesn’t necessarily have a single cause.
Seniors undergo a major identity shift and much of what they valued or what had made them successful is no longer relevant. So true acceptance of this reality plays a major factor in their states and moods.3
Acceptance, however, is, unfortunately, not all that easy.
If you valued yourself based on you job, physical capabilities or appearance and that suddenly changes, you now have a crisis. Because along with your physical quality went your self-confidence, sense-of-pride and very being. You can either say, “oh well, from now on I’ll learn to value myself based on something else,” or you can say, “it shouldn’t be this way, argh!”
The latter seems to be the default for most people.
The Upside of Grumpiness
But grumpiness isn’t only ‘bad.’
It might also be part of the process of coming to terms with the situation and gradually accepting it.
Also, according to Dr. Gabor Mate, a renowned Hungarian-born psychiatrist, it’s suppression of emotions that causes illness. So when your loved one lets it out in a healthy way, they may be saving their body.
How to not Take it Personally
Either way, your loved one needs you to show acceptance of them as they are, grumpiness and all. By being there for them in their frustrating moments, you send a powerful message: “Hey, it’s okay. You’re welcome as you are.”
Change your perception and change the way you handle their moodiness. It’s not you and it’s not personal. You’re loved one is going through a difficult stage and they’re scared. They need you to be there for them, now more than ever. Your attitude may even help them be more cheerful.
Do you have a grumpy loved one in your life?
How can you respond from a place of kindness and acceptance?
Please share in the comments below.
1 http://www.nbcnews.com/id/50305818/ns/health-mens_health/t/get-my-lawn-why-some-older-men-get-so-grouchy/
2 https://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-e-wyer/men-and-grumpiness_b_5266944.html
3 http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2013/aug/05/were-grumpy-for-a-reason/