A somewhat sad reality of many elders is their lousy moods. Thereâs a lot you can do to ease their golden years (sending them to Wellington Estates, for example), but you canât control their life.
Many seniors tend to get grumpy. Obviously, this can be tough to deal with, and it can cause you to feel like youâre letting them down.
But, as you hopefully understand, your loved oneâs mood swings arenât your fault, and it isnât your responsibility to make them cheerful when they feel like being grumpy.
Why Seniors get Grumpy
The first thing is to understand why seniors get grumpy.
Although some sources point to the decline in hormonal levels in males as they reach age 601 or 702 as the primary culprit, grumpiness doesnât necessarily have a single cause.
Seniors undergo a major identity shift and much of what they valued or what had made them successful is no longer relevant. So true acceptance of this reality plays a major factor in their states and moods.3
Acceptance, however, is, unfortunately, not all that easy.
If you valued yourself based on you job, physical capabilities or appearance and that suddenly changes, you now have a crisis. Because along with your physical quality went your self-confidence, sense-of-pride and very being. You can either say, âoh well, from now on Iâll learn to value myself based on something else,â or you can say, âit shouldnât be this way, argh!â
The latter seems to be the default for most people.
The Upside of Grumpiness
But grumpiness isnât only âbad.â
It might also be part of the process of coming to terms with the situation and gradually accepting it.
Also, according to Dr. Gabor Mate, a renowned Hungarian-born psychiatrist, itâs suppression of emotions that causes illness. So when your loved one lets it out in a healthy way, they may be saving their body.
How to not Take it Personally
Either way, your loved one needs you to show acceptance of them as they are, grumpiness and all. By being there for them in their frustrating moments, you send a powerful message: âHey, itâs okay. Youâre welcome as you are.â
Change your perception and change the way you handle their moodiness. Itâs not you and itâs not personal. Youâre loved one is going through a difficult stage and theyâre scared. They need you to be there for them, now more than ever. Your attitude may even help them be more cheerful.
Do you have a grumpy loved one in your life?
How can you respond from a place of kindness and acceptance?
Please share in the comments below.
1 http://www.nbcnews.com/id/50305818/ns/health-mens_health/t/get-my-lawn-why-some-older-men-get-so-grouchy/
2 https://www.huffingtonpost.com/carol-e-wyer/men-and-grumpiness_b_5266944.html
3 http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2013/aug/05/were-grumpy-for-a-reason/