“The whole problem of life, then, is this: how to break out of one’s own loneliness, how to communicate with others.”
Cesare Pavese
In our previous post, we discussed understanding loneliness. Now we’ll focus on dealing with it.
We concluded the previous post with the words of Gretchen Rubin “To be happy, we need intimate bonds … strong relationships are key.
Loneliness over time
A recent longitudinal study [1] on “long-term predictors of loneliness in old age,” may explain why some people experience loneliness while others – who may be alone – do not. The researchers found that participants who lacked close forms of social engagement, 20 years earlier (at around age 60), were more lonely as seniors (at around age 80). They also found that peoples’ social engagement patterns don’t change on their own, even over 20 years.
In other words, social engagement is the key to dealing with loneliness. Your level of social engagement, however, isn’t likely to change on its own. So start working on relationships today.
Ideas for Improving Relationships
There are numerous things you can do to improve your relationships. Here are several simple ideas:
- Weekly phone calls
- Birthday Gifts
- Writing letters
- Writing emails
- Sending pictures
- Getting together
- Playing games
- Eating together
The point is to be consistent and casual. In time your connections can improve and your efforts can change your patterns, which may spillover to all your relationships and improve your intimate bonds.
What ideas can start implementing today?
Please share in the comments below.
[1] Dahlberg, Lena, Lars Andersson, and Carin Lennartsson. “Long-term predictors of loneliness in old age: results of a 20-year national study.” Aging & mental health 22, no. 2 (2018): 190-196.