Our good friend Karen Weeks of Elderwellness.net has contributed this article exclusively for our Wellington Estates families and readers. Thank you Karen!
We can’t always be there for the ones we love – physically, that is. But we can take steps to ensure that they are able to manage even if we are far away. Long-distance caretaking is usually a team effort, and these days, it’s something that relies heavily on technology. Here are some tips on having a positive impact on a senior loved one’s life even if you don’t live nearby.
Be a top notch coordinator
PBS notes that long-distance caregiving is really all about two main things: the gathering of information and the coordinating of services. When a parent needs medical care because they have a physical condition or cognitive impairment, or when they need help with day-to-day tasks due to a mobility issue, it falls on you as a long-distance caretaker to make sure they get this care. You cannot provide it by yourself, so you must arrange it through local services.
Coordinating care is more than simply hiring a part-time nurse or other medical professional to check up on your loved one. It can also involve hiring help for things like housekeeping and lawn care. You can even use apps to schedule necessary help (like Uber for rides to doctor appointments and TaskRabbit for help with household chores).
Communicate with people who do live close to your loved one and use them as your eyes and ears. This can be a friend, neighbor, or pastor that you trust.
Rebuild bridges
Sadly, many seniors have lost touch with the nearby friends and family members you need to count on for support, and sometimes, those connections still have hard feelings. Although it may be a difficult conversation to have, try to talk to these loved ones – and in a separate conversation, your senior – to see if they’re willing to mend fences.
For example, perhaps your elderly mother once struggled with an alcohol addiction, and it caused a rift between her and your brother that was never resolved. Talk to your mother about trying to make amends with him, even if he doesn’t seem receptive at first. Explain to both of them that you love all of your family members, and as a long-distance caregiver, you would find some comfort knowing that they were able to work things out. It may be a process, but you’ll feel better knowing you tried, and you may just gain an extra source of support.
Rely on technology
Making sure a loved one is safe from afar has never been easier thanks to advances in technology. For starters, one of the most important pieces of senior care tech has improved dramatically over the past decade. Every senior needs a fall detection device – something that will notify you and medical professionals if your loved one suffers a fall. A good fall detection device should have, at the very least, automatic detection (so they don’t have to press a button to call for help), be waterproof (falls happen in the shower), and should be comfortable enough to promote continuous wear.
Home assistants are also great for the elderly, like the Amazon Echo or Google Home, for example. These internet-connected devices can make scheduling, reminders, and internet searching easy for even the most tech-averse.
And of course, video chat is essential for long-distance care. If you teach your senior loved one how to operate a single video chat app (Skype, Hangouts, Messenger, etc.), you can communicate with them face-to-face multiple times per day.
Set them up for success through downsizing
You’ll still be making monthly or semi-yearly visits to check up on your loved one, and when you do, you should really make them count. One way to do that is to aid in a tiresome but altogether rewarding task for seniors – downsizing their belongings.
The more you can reduce the amount of clutter and extra stuff your senior loved one has to manage, the easier you can make their life. When helping them sort through their belongings, try to get rid of duplicate and unused items first. Know that when you get to downsizing sentimental items, emotions can run high. Be patient and suggest donating or selling unneeded items. It may make it easier for your loved one to part with something if they know it’s going to a good home or if they think there’s money to be made.
You can be an effective caretaker and live hundreds of miles away from your loved one – but you are going to need help. You may be forced to deal with long-distance caretaker guilt and exhaustion, so it’s vital that you make time to focus on your own well-being as well.